The Arrival

When my water broke, prematurely, the last thing I had on my mind was having these two little people, so soon. Like five weeks soon. It was not real, or so I wished. It was a Friday, and I had exams starting Monday of the following week. That’s how unreal this situation was.

But not to these little people who were ready to come out, by now. In my head, this just wasn’t happening. I’m 35 weeks along . In their heads? “Oh it’s happening mommy.” I was rushed to hospital by a colleague, in my car, after my water broke.

At the hospital, i was received by the nurse on duty that evening. Shevran all necessary tests on me and gave me a prophylaxis to prevent any infection to the babies. I felt a little secure after that. And I say a little because I figured, you know, you can only really do so much, the rest is left to God.

The doctor came to me, made his assessment and his final word word was “You must go and get ready, we need to perform an emergency c-section” because the babies were apparently both breach, so I couldn’t have a natural delivery. And all my plans evaporated right then and there. Poof! No more pushing. Not in this delivery. But that thought was quickly over ridden by the concern for my babies’ safety and health. I wanted them to be safe, healthy and happy. After adequate preparation, i was taken in for the operation.

I’d never been so scared in my life. I prayed to God for my safety and the babies’. And he came through for us. My babies were safely delivered, and I was astonished at this new wonder in my eyes as they showed them to me.

Nothing could have prepared me for this awesome wonder. I saw them one by one for the first time as they were delivered and swiftly taken away for examining and monitoring to see if they didn’t need any special care like the ICU. But as it turned out, they were pretty fine. And I was happy. By God’s grace, they didn’t need to be taken to intensive care unit. In just over an our, we we ready to to our designated ward. I couldn’t hokd my babies though, I was still very weak and i asked the nurse carrying tgem to walk very close to me with them.

They were the tiniest and cutest little people I’d ever seen. Twin 1 weighed 2.1kg and Twin 2 weighed 2kg. Gorgeous red faces, tiny and long hands and feet. Very kind souls who hardly made a sound except occasional little sounds to remind me they’d arrived, at long last.

When I could finally hold them in my arms, one by one, after we were settled in our ward, it felt like they’d always been in my life and I couldn’t imagine how I’d lived for so long without them. My world made so much more sense now with them. They were finally here. My babies.

A year later…

It has been a very interesting year, since my #pregnancy. Having my little people at the time that I did has changed my life in so many ways and it has all been positive.

Now, being a mother to a beautiful 10 year old, already I had thought I’d gotten all this mothering stuff down pat. Boy was I surprised. Having new babies 10 years later felt like being a new mommy altogether. It’s been awesome though. Right to this very moment. I must say, though, that all that awesomeness has been, in part, as a result of the great support I’ve enjoyed, ever since announcing the pregnancy. I can’t thank my family enough. They’ve been there for us every moment. My friends, and most of all, my partner. He’s been absolutely great. I can’t thank him enough.

It has been a great journey of exciting new experiences. I could write a book about the pregnancy alone (Or maybe I should). Right up to the time the babies were delivered. That was the scariest and most exciting time all at the same time. An amazing transition

, in a way I had not imagined . To say the least, my babies were almost delivered in the car! And I still laugh about it. But, that’s a story for another day.

#Life is amazing, new life is amazing. It often escapes us to stop and appreciate how amazing life is, perhaps because we get so caught up in it, it sometimes seems automated. But it is not. It is a gift, a #beautiful gift from #God, that we ought to reverence. That’s my everyday lesson from my children. When I look at them, I feel a sense of awe and wonder, it is beyond me how these people could come from me, how such #beautiful souls call me mommy. It is the most exhilarating thing ever, beyond and ‘must see before you turn 50’ wonder of the world. And I’m living it.

This experience teaches me everyday how valuable, or, rather invaluable #life is. How we aught to thank God for every breath, everyday.

I’m not sure what gives you a sense of awe and wonder, but I hope the wonder of life, whether coming from you or someone else, does not escape you and you enjoy it every waking moment.

May #peace , #joy and #love be with you.

The Twinning Difference

Some 20-something weeks into my pregnancy (I avoid being exact with the figures because it gives me the illusion that there’s still so much time left before my little people arrive!) it becomes clearer and clearer to me that carrying multiples is not as sweet as the “awe”s and all other compliments that come from those around, accompanied by the ‘twin-experience’ comments and tales; and oh I’ve heard them.
Right from the beginning, my pregnancy has been quite ‘heavy’, for lack of a better expression. My body felt all kinds of pregnant and there was no doubt in my mind that I was with child. I just chose to live in the comfort of the illusion that nothing had been confirmed yet. It bought me time to comfort myself while pretending I was sick of some common illness, hopefully malaria or something. I mean, the quiziness was just out of this world. The fatigue could almost make drop, and then the sudden discomfort when I tried to take my lunchtime nap in the ‘napping’ positions I was used too. Absolutely stunning. And even after confirming that I was pregnant, it almost felt worse; as if to say “now that it’s out in the open, we can go to town!”

I couldn’t understand though why it was all so heightened, to the extent that I could no longer help around the house, from then on. My body felt drowsy and ‘weak’ all the time. What was going on? Come on this is just pregnancy! I’ve done it once before and it didn’t feel like this. I was afraid everybody would start thinking that I was now acting like a spoilt brat but only a little too old for my age. Therefore, I tried to pull my weight around the house but it was just (almost unbearably) difficult. I eventually gave up and resigned myself to thinking that it would probably pass and I’d be able to function again in no time. Boy was I wrong!

It wasn’t long after I started feeling like a weakling, a bag of lazy-bones and goodness knows what else. All these feelings I had never imagined I would have during pregnancy. I never had them during my first pregnancy where-in I was very active. Now, I felt like a cabbage. I felt guilty, very guilty and didn’t know how to express it even. Gradually, resentment started creeping in and attempted to grow. Fortunately, all the support I received just nipped it in the behind. Might I add though that it was and still is tremendous and nothing short of amazing. It seems as if everybody else around me understands my condition more than I do and that alone just makes me grateful. And, all that support has helped me carry really well.

The other day, as I read through some posts and blogs on pregnancy I bumped into one that almost sounded like I had been the author. I shared it with a friend and they said to me that if they didn’t know better, they’d swear I had written it. When I read it, I wanted to cry (hormones – I swear!) for the first time I understood my ‘pain’, or so to speak. Plus, it also felt even better to know that somebody else does too, in virtually the exact same way that I did. I felt such relief come over me and suddenly I was starting to relax in my ‘state’. I allowed myself to feel comfortable about being tired, no; wait! Wasted after just blinking. I felt ok being nursed around and having so many people, as are around me, wait on me hand on foot. I was and still am tremendously humbled too. It reminded me just how important it is to be surrounded by love, joy and all things good during this needy time. I remember how I used to fool myself at some point thinking about the ‘breeze’ that pregnancy is. It isn’t. Not at all. It is a blessing, yes, but easy? No. And, it’s absolutely alright, and in fact important (after satisfying yourself) to admit it to yourself first then to the world around you.

As I sign off, here’s the article I came across that was just my salvation! Surprising Differences Between Singleton and Twin Pregnancies
Yours Truly!

THE SIBLING (transition)

From realizing that this was going to be quite a journey, although initially from a point of excitement that I am having more than one baby, simultaneously; to waking up to the reality that this is actually bigger than what I imagined, it has all been nothing short of amazing. Every day brings its own surprises, different feelings and experiences.
But one particular experience broke my heart and I’ll never forget it. I suppose it could have been worse, or better. I don’t know. But it happened.

After a few days of confirming that I was pregnant with twins, obviously I’m still excited in different ways, I had been trying to be careful (or so I thought) about how I would bring my (then almost) nine year old daughter to the knowledge of these two new people. At this point, it was the second thing that kept me awake at night. I knew how my daughter Aka, felt about having siblings. Being the only child to me and enjoying the freedom (among other pleasures) of that state, she had absolutely no interest whatsoever of having a sibling, never mind multiple siblings, at the same time. I remember how she even cried about it at some point when she overheard me talking about getting married in a conversation with a friend. Somehow, to her, that was interpreted as wanting to have, at least, another baby. That, to my little girl’s mind was unacceptable. When I asked her why that was, she said a new baby would take all my attention away from her.
“You would love the baby more than me, spend time with the baby more than me and spend all your money on the baby and not me!” At this point little Miss Madam is sobbing!

I realized at that point that we needed to have a conversation about the subject. But I knew that as well that it would neither be easy nor a one-time-event. It would take some engagement. But the thing was I did not know how. I knew though, that I wanted her to be as about a new baby as I would. Well, maybe being as excited as I would be might be asking for a little too much; but I wanted her to be excited. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on in her imagination but the expression that she had just given me was enough to tell me that my baby wasn’t moving in the direction as I was in my imagination.
I always imagined that when I have another baby, we would all be excited. However, my fears were confirmed when my baby finally asked me if I was pregnant. How she arrived at that is a story for another day. The bottom line is she found out sooner than I had readied myself to tell her, and I knew I has some damage control to do because how she even asked me did not sound pleasant at all. I knew I couldn’t get back-up (I desperately needed it). It was just the two of us. And as the saying goes, now I had to grab the bull by the horn. I gave her a moment to think about the news, as I drew her to me to sit her on my lap. Then I asked her how she felt.

“I’m sad mommy.” There, she had said it and there was no way I could reverse it. It hit me like a big gong and I needed shock absorbers. But I couldn’t possibly imagine how hard it had hit her and the courage to actually say it out loud, that she was sad. I was grateful though that she was honest. She could have said anything else; faked a smile and said she was happy’ I mean she is big enough to do that. But she didn’t. She looked away from me and could barely smile (understandably) and told me under no uncertain terms that she was sad. It flat out broke my heart to hear that, but it couldn’t compare to the realization that I had probably tore hers into million pieces. As she explained to me why she was sad about expecting a new baby I was searching in my mind for at least one way that could help me sway her feelings, at least from being sad to somewhat ‘happy’ in this situation. I then pointed out to her cool part of this story; that we are expecting twins, she would be the only one among her friends with twin siblings (how grand is that) and that we are the first in our (big) family to have twins and most of all-how much fun she would have playing with them and showing them all the cool stuff she does (she loves drawing and animals are her life). Gradually, her lips were stretching to what could resemble a smile and her big white teeth were showing, beautifully. Our conversation went on and on until we were laughing from the imaginations we were sharing about these new little people that we are expecting. Through that though, I emphasized how much I love her and that she was still my baby; and that no other baby in the world would ever change that. She understood and she was happy. We were both happy. I also knew though that that would not be the end of the conversation. And, at the beginning of the following week, after our conversation, my daughter came back home from school and told me how her friends think she’s lucky. I asked why. And she told me it was because she would be having twin siblings soon and they would have wanted that!
From then on, I knew the whole school new I was pregnant!! Lol!!

As the days passed and my belly grew she shared with me what her plans were with and for the twins. I felt such warmth in my heart each time she told me, as I had never imagined. I knew she was coming around, or at least trying to. I’ve also allowed her to let the twins into her life in her own way, how she’s developed a way of bonding with them and still try to get more used to the idea. Plus, the more we talk about it the more I realize she’s falling in love with the babies; to my delight. What I can say is right about now, you can almost touch the excitement over the babies.

My tips to helping the first born overcome their fear of a new baby:
1. Talk about it before it happens

2. Give him or her assurance of your unconditional love

3. Give them the time they need to adjust to the new family addition so they too can make room in their ‘world’ for the new baby or babies.

4. Let them express themselves (encouraging) with respect for themselves, you and the new family member(s)

5. Let them make plans (all plans are subject to change afterall)

THE JOURNEY OF NEW LIFE!

Mine has been quite a journey, I must say. I have gone from depression to extreme joy in what seemed to me like a blink.

I walk into the sonogram room feeling absolutely lost with so many thoughts going through my head and the primary thought was “is everything alright?.” I had almost become the permanent physical address for anxiety. I had only confirmed two weeks prior that I was pregnant. I did not exactly need to have a pregnancy test done, but I just had to go and do one to confirm my suspicion. My body was already feeling all kinds of ‘pregnant’, quite intensely actually; and the pregnancy symptoms were outrageous. I went through all sorts of emotions but excited was not initially one of them. I was sad, mostly. Sad because I had ‘secretly resigned myself to not having another child, my first born was all grown up and almost independent; and I was just finding mine. I had so many plans for me and high on the bucket list was going back to school to finish my first degree, and travelling to meet new people. And now a baby?

I laid flat on my back on the small hospital bed, enough to hold me for the duration of the scan. I wanted to make the process as quick and ‘pain-free’ as possible for myself. All I wanted to know was if everything was alright, no foreseen complications whatsoever? And can I carry on with my life for at least the next few months like nothing had happened? How wrong was I! What I found nothing and no one could have prepared me for. I still remember how the sonographer said it, with barely any show of emotion on his face neither in his voice, “Everything looks alright. You’re having twins.” Then he sighed. I’m still not quite sure what that meant but at that point I could let him leave me on the lurch like that with nothing more to say. But my first reaction was a big laugh, almost a roar kind of laugh. The disbelief of what this technician had just told me was quite pronounced in that laugh.

What I couldn’t understand was how? Suddenly, I wanted to know how I could have possibly conceived twins because I do not come from a background of twins, although daddy does and popular notion is that if one parent (even if it’s daddy) comes from a ‘twin’ background, they are likely to have twins. But I just could not believe that. I’d conceived fraternal twins, or so the scan detected. I just couldn’t buy that.

I wound up staying in that sonogram room for as long as I could asking so many questions, as furthest possible, before the next patient. The poor man had to eventually ask me to leave the room so he could see other patients. Suddenly when I walked out, the world looked very different than when I went in. I felt different. I was shocked, so pretty much nothing was making sense at that moment. I was laughing, not yet out of excitement but shock. I saw the doctor, he seemed quite excited. I couldn’t understand why, but he was. A part of me was grateful that I’d at least brought joy to someone. But I was still shocked. It somewhat felt like living in a bubble for a moment and I was watching life happen but I just was not there. It was all too real. When I finally was done with the doctor I had to go home. I wanted to be alone to process the news that I’d just received. i wanted to walk but I did not want to take anymore risks, the doctor had already told me to take it easy after I explained to him that I was experiencing severe abdominal pains. At this point I was overwhelmed, I had to tell someone. I called the father of these new little people. He was equally shocked. All he could say to me was, “You’re lying.” The conversation went on for more than 10 minutes and I sent him a picture of the sonogram I’d just had. He still couldn’t believe it. I didn’t blame him, but at this point he really wasn’t helping me much. I needed a ‘shock absorber’. I called my sisters. One screamed in my ear and almost burst it and the other laughed and called me back the following day. But now there was one person left to tell.

I got home, the house felt new, almost like I’d never lived there. My mom was in the bathroom. I tried with everything in me to not let the cat out of the bag. I tried to be as calm as possible and had a calm conversation with her about how successful my hospital visit was. Then I told her I was pregnant, with twins. She was silent for two seconds. Then she started going on and on about how she almost had twins. I laughed. Hard. At that moment I knew it was alright. This was going to be the most wonderful experience, in child bearing, I’d have.

OH BABY BABY!

OH BABY BABY!!!

Welcome to the Oh Baby Baby blog. This blog is aimed at educating the author and the reader on matters of pregnancy, perhaps even pre-pregnancy, during and after pregnancy-once the baby has arrived. These are just ‘bubble’ category-topics of what this blog anticipates to look at.
I also read other blogs and websites that explore the subject of pregnancy, mommy, and baby. I have found them to be very informative and they have helped me through the first part of my pregnancy, which I must say has not exactly been the easiest, compared to my first one. But, I have appreciated the help I got. Finding out from other mothers what they have gone through, without necessarily making physical contact with them, has been a great deal of support for me.
My first pregnancy was a singleton and was almost without hassle, except during the first trimester; which is almost expected. This time, I’m expecting twins. It has been an exciting journey so far, however with much more drama than I had with my first pregnancy, perhaps expectedly so. Perhaps!
I must say that there is absolutely no intention at all to leave out daddies. It does, after all, take two to make a baby and at least one time, well, conventionally. That said though, it is a subject that would usher us into another or other dimensions of the baby making process, even if we still keep to the conventional mommy and daddy set up. But that’s a topic for another day.
What we will also get a chance to explore are what pregnancy experts have to say about it, ranging from issues such as trying to conceive, through pregnancy and post-delivery. I plan on making this part of my journey as I go through my pregnancy and hopefully other expectant parents as well. So, a lot of research and writing in this blog will be based on the author’s experience, inquisitiveness but by no means closing out contributions from the reader and targeted participants.
Maybe you might wonder why the author chose to blog about pregnancy instead of something else, say maybe…politics or music or even fashion? It’s only a passing event, right?
I’ve already mentioned that I am currently expecting twins, which makes me all the more interested on the subject. And, not being an expert, I figured blogging about it opens up a myriad possibilities for me to receive information about this beautiful yet not so easy experience. Not only to receive that information but to share it with other mommies and daddies as well. Through my experience, I’ve learnt that there are so many issues tied to this precious event and they all (unequally) contribute to the experience as a whole. Let’s take for instance the religious angle. There are so many faith based or religious beliefs that are involved in pregnancy, from contraception to family planning, right through to where and how the mother gives birth; even to the point of how the child is raised.
On another aspect, we may look at social norms, how they also play a role in the pregnancy experience. Different societies have their own protocols regarding the subject. For instance, from a general health perspective, an expectant mother is required to adjust her lifestyle to suit her present condition; that includes her diet, her normal physical routine might need to change as well, depending on what it was before conception. However, due to social beliefs, norms, and practices; such adjustments maybe not so easy to make. These are just only two examples of our everyday life aspects that we will engage in in our journey with the new life that we are excitedly waiting to receive.
It is important though that while we explore these issues, we start off with the really simple ones such as looking at what pregnancy in itself is, generally, without the involvement of all that might make the subject seem complicated. Personally, I do not think nor believe it should be. Pregnancy is one of life’s most beautifully amazing journeys and should be treated with the highest respect possible as well as be made as easy as possible for the mother, where there are no health complications involved.
In my next blog, I will share what my experience has been like in these past four months, perhaps even with some comparison between the current pregnancy and my first one. And as we go on in posts to follow, we’ll be looking at more professional or expert advise regarding pregnancy.
God bless.